So welcome to Craptastica, land of spam and other worthless posts!

Increase your post count mindlessly by spamming this thread.

I'll begin.

CHARMIN IS MORE ABSORBENT THAN TEH OTHER TOLIET PAPIERS.

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- Idiot Farm Comics
- http://www.idiotfarm.net

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

keyboard works.

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KITTY KITTY DANCE GO

**KNC Member**
**B-Unit Minister of Warm Fuzzy Kawaii Things**

DeviantArt site

The Kitlings!

Charmin may be more absorbent than other toilet papers, but what about resistance and softness? Unless you have a serious case of diarrhea, I don't see where the absorbtion factor comes into play. In my experience, resistance is a much more important quality when on the market for toilet paper.

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Beauty In Diversity

So basically, you're going to want resistance more often than absorbancy. But when you have that case of diarrhea, then what? Because you know that everyone always has a case of it every once in a while.

-Em

Perhaps the correct balance between absorbency and resistence is what I meant. You definitely want both to ensure a clean wipe!

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- Idiot Farm Comics
- http://www.idiotfarm.net

If you have a serious case of diarrhea, then resistance is the leading factor, if you want absorbance use Kleenex

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Beauty In Diversity

The Farminator

 

 

A German enteprenuer has developed a new gadget the will eliminate odors and moisture from exiting the anus during a fart. The aging man stated " I was so tired of having to buy new undergarmets that it forced me to come up with the idea. " It seems that Hans Upmiaz discovered a growing need for the device when mentioning the results to friends...

The device now called "Farminator" has a very basic design and function. It is about 4 inches long and has a small tube that has a pressure valve installed. When the pressure reaches around 20 pounds then and only then will it release. With the amount of pressure stored it then uses it's own energy to capture the moisture and odor through a specially patented filter. Upmiaz's product has now been endorsed by the National Association of Flagulaors (sp) . However opposed is Hanes Corporation, Calvin Klien, and Fruit of the Loom. They have released studies that find numerous side affects associated with the Farminator. In the report the study discovers that the side affects could be more damaging than the relief itself. Side effects: anal itching, hemroids, anal burning, anal sores, ingrown anal hairs, and some patients have been known to grow addicted to the sensation of a foriegn object in the anal cavity. Upmiaz has not yet responed to these allegations.

If you wish to purchase a Farminator, look no further than 1-800-1UPMIAZ.

This product can be yours for 19.95 plus s&h. You will receive your merchandise 6-8 weeks after payment has been received. Act now and we will throw in a matching pair of boxers to represent the skid mark free society.

-Em

Since we're on the topic, I was told by a medical doctor that keeping farts in can, on the long run, cause colon cancer. Farts contain a good quantity of sulfuric components, which are toxic. A simple and abundant one is H2S, that incidently gives rotten eggs their unmistakable aroma.

I heard that there was a study going on about the incidence of cows' farts on global warming. It's disturbing that it's such a big problem

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Beauty In Diversity

There's nothing wrong with letting out a good fart. What fun is storing it in a can?

-Em

Seconded.

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- Idiot Farm Comics
- http://www.idiotfarm.net

Reminds me of a story my grandfather once told me:

At a very official dinner, there was this young lady sitting between a well-dressed gentleman and a bum (how the bum got invited is something I've never figured out).

At some point during the meal, the young lady built up gas . She tried to keep it in , but at some point the pressure was too much and she let out a loud, smelly one.

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP!

The gentleman then gets up and takes the blame on himself: "Respected Ladies, dear Sirs, I apologize and am deeply ashamed for this mishap, I have been having digestive problems, and I hope that you will forgive me and that we can forget this unpleasant occurrence. Please don't let it ruin your evening."

As the gentleman sat down, the young lady sent him a grateful glance and resumed her meal. A little later, the lady felt another one building up, but felt a little more confident than previously, and thus didn't make a serious effort to keep it in. And so she ripped another loud one, and acted innocent

This time the bum gets up and adresses the gathering: "Ladies and gentleman, I don't know nice words as the gentleman there, but this time the lady's fart you can blame it on me."

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At least there was a good intention behind it

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Beauty In Diversity

Lol, I liked that. Awesome joke.

-Em

Hilarious!

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- Idiot Farm Comics
- http://www.idiotfarm.net