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ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

Last post 06-21-2004, 9:31 PM by societyzdownfall@aol.com. 17 replies.
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  •  3/12/2004 2:24:00 AM 500735

    ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

    On a  hairdryer : Do not use while sleeping.
    (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On a bag of sweets:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (The shoplifter special!)

    On a bar of Soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

    On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
    (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

    On a  dessert: Do not turn upside down.
    *printed on bottom of the box* (Too late! You lose!)

    On a  Pudding packet:
    Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment. )

    On packaging for an  irono not iron clothes on body.
    (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

    On  Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
    if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

    On a sleep medicine:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

    On a Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or
    outdoor use only.
    (As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)

    On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
    (Now I'm curious.)

    On  peanuts packet: Warning: contains nuts.
    (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open
    packet, eat nuts.
    (DDDUUUHHH)


    On a childs superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

  •  3/12/2004 3:15:00 AM 541377 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    This is totally not the appropiate place for this. 
  •  3/12/2004 5:45:00 AM 540531 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Moved.


    What's the point of a hero with no one to save?

    Le sigh
  •  3/12/2004 7:18:00 AM 540638 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    ive noticed that on alot of things
  •  3/12/2004 2:19:00 PM 542912 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?



    KITTY KITTY DANCE GO

    **KNC Member**
    **B-Unit Minister of Warm Fuzzy Kawaii Things**

    DeviantArt site

    The Kitlings!
  •  3/15/2004 9:46:00 PM 542637 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    ... -_- HOKAY enough of that. This is why there are joke sites.

  •  3/30/2004 11:34:00 AM 548470 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Whoo, i r teh necropostar1!1!11

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not intended for the other use"

  •  6/6/2004 10:32:00 PM 596661 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Oh.. then there's this one...

     

    On a Swedish chainsaw... "Do not use hands, feet, or genitals to stop the blade."

    Now what kinda consumer call lead to that warning label??

  •  6/7/2004 11:30:00 PM 597452 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    The hands and feet thing sounds about right, but the genitals?

    I wonder if there's someone that actually tried stopping the chainsaw with their ****.

    Goodbye manhood.

    Hello pain and agony.

  •  6/8/2004 5:12:00 AM 597790 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Sounds like a night in.
  •  6/8/2004 6:56:00 PM 597450 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    More like a year in.

    I'm not sure but I think it would be embarassing to lose your **** to a chainsaw.

    -

    "Goddamnit, I didn't see that one coming. The chainsaw won."

    ;; Sigh ;;

    lmao!

  •  6/8/2004 7:41:00 PM 596674 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    That would be more embarrassing than it would be painful if you can believe that one!
  •  6/9/2004 1:39:00 PM 598901 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    lol. Yeah, I'm sure it would be.
  •  6/10/2004 4:10:00 PM 600907 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    Why is it that when people mention genitalia and chainsaw you automatically assume it's a he ? It could be a girl, you know ?


    "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo"
    I will f*** you in the ass and mouth
    Catullus, XVI

    Things do sound more profound in Latin...
  •  6/12/2004 12:12:00 PM 602593 in reply to 500735

    RE: ctual Warning Labels..Who comes up with this stuff?!?

    that would be an interesting conversation, "how did you **** up your pussy?" "Oh, well I was using this chainsaw, and the blade wouldn't stop moving so..."
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