Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a hairdryer : Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)On a bag of sweets:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special!)On a bar of Soap:Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's *just* a suggestion!)On a dessert: Do not turn upside down.*printed on bottom of the box* (Too late! You lose!) On a Pudding packet:Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment. )On packaging for an irono not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)On Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidentsif we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)On a sleep medicine:Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor oroutdoor use only.(As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)On peanuts packet: Warning: contains nuts.(Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: openpacket, eat nuts.(DDDUUUHHH)On a childs superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
Moved.
... -_- HOKAY enough of that. This is why there are joke sites.
Whoo, i r teh necropostar1!1!11
On a Japanese food processor: "Not intended for the other use"
Oh.. then there's this one...
On a Swedish chainsaw... "Do not use hands, feet, or genitals to stop the blade."
Now what kinda consumer call lead to that warning label??
The hands and feet thing sounds about right, but the genitals?
I wonder if there's someone that actually tried stopping the chainsaw with their ****.
Goodbye manhood.
Hello pain and agony.
More like a year in.
I'm not sure but I think it would be embarassing to lose your **** to a chainsaw.
-
"Goddamnit, I didn't see that one coming. The chainsaw won."
;; Sigh ;;
lmao!
Why is it that when people mention genitalia and chainsaw you automatically assume it's a he ? It could be a girl, you know ?