Extracted from a real conversation:
ME (to my friend):"You mean you really shoplifted wine from the market ???"
MY FRIEND: "What ? It's not all that bad. I was going to buy one and shoplift another, so that there'll be no real loss... but since, they didn't let me buy the wine, I just stole it... it's their fault."
"Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo"
I will f*** you in the ass and mouth
Catullus, XVI
Things do sound more profound in Latin...