Alright guys, who of you is willing to provide me a place to stay if I do concider to run away? I'm going crazy about my parents, especially dad.

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Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam, et lingua eius loquetur iudicium.
Beatus vir qui suffert temtationem.
Quanium c-um probatus feurit accipient coronam vitae.

Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison.

Oh quam sancta, quam serena, quam benigna, quam amoena.
Oh castitatis lilium.

I'm not goin' to give you a big ass lecture but tell me why you want to run away, maybe we can help you sort things out, so you don't do something you might regret later.

I'm sick of my parents, currently my dad.

I always seem to do something wrong and my parents won't really let me be. If we had an arguement and I wanna cool off, then I go to my room. If I come back a bit later, cooled off, then one of them is likely to wanna talk about it. And I'm sick of that. They just never seem to let things be.

Last week there was something that worked on me, and my brother was too annoying. Somehow I can predict how I can be and try to avoid that from happening. That time there was only a spot next to my brother and before hand I could feel something could get out of hand. So saying that and being ignored I had not much other choise. So something kinda got me touchy and as soon as my brother started annoying me a bit too much, I just hit him in the head, no way to stop myself. And THEN my parents seem to pay attention. Mom judging the situation, and she is half right and half off, really annoying that she says things before asking. Dad was surprised and listened to mom, wanting to talk to me about it when I couldn't. So I went off to my room to blow it off my mind. They always come at the wrong moment.

So about today. Dad wanted me to help and I did. Normally I refuse sometimes because I know I'll get moody, but I just helped out whitout getting a lecture out of them beforehand. And dad always comments when I help doing stuff. That really iritates me. I always hear that I don't do it right or going through too much trouble or am too wreckless and uncareful whit stuff. That's like all the time. Making me feel like an idiot or that I can't do something right. As soon as I talk about myself that I can't do stuff and that I'm just clumsy, he's like "Stop saying that" and "You can do anything if you want" and things like that. What's the point of bugging my moods, just let me ****ing talk that way. I have a low self-esteem and don't wanna be 'cheered up' because I say those things. I got sick of the last comment I got today. I was 'helping out' and I did something wrong. So I dropped it at that point. And just walked away pissed. Now this is the moment dad FORCES me to tell what the **** is wrong instead of letting me ****ing cool off, meaning that it's making things worse. I'm so sick of it at that point I am like "I'll die on the spot because of fury". So I'll say what he needs to know and go off. "Whoa! Come back!" HAH! Make my day! I'm sick of getting called back AGAIN AND AGAIN unnessecaraly(sp). So I got upstairs and just zoned out. Not giving a **** about anything.

Also when I need to help I seem to be wanted there "at the second" when they call me. If I wanna help I'm probably supposed to drop everything through the ground so I can help immediately. As soon as I CAN help he goes like "no matter, it's been done". There are also times that I am just doing nothing for over 15 minutes, then when I wanna walk out of there jsut to get comfortable he calls me back to wait another 5/10 minutes for NOTHING. Last week we were doing the kitchen, and yesterday I was laying over the furnice and kitchen sink so I could COMFORTABLY rest my body instead of STANDING by over half an hour.

The last thing that got me pissed off today was about what we do in general. I get the ****ING LECTURE about how EVERYONE does something wrong. Like making a mess in his tool closet, or leaving milk out of the refrigirator. Leaving those doors open sometimes. Making a mess in the kitchen or just name it. Or lose things we need to be careful off. WE do it wrong. If someone does it right, it's me. I mostly clean up after myself, I always lay my stuff in a specific place. If it's not there, someone else moved it. I always put the ****ing milk back in the fridge. I ****ING LISTEN and things still seem to be wrong. Why? BECAUSE ONLY I GET THE ****ING LECTURE! WHY? He actually told me tonight that because my room is mostly messy, I'm the one responsible for hearing the crap all the time, over, and over, and over again. If I have only 1 carton, bottle, bag or anything that contained food in my room, I get **** like "You need to clean your room". I only clean my room when I'm in a good mood. Rubbing things in everyday won't get my mood any better. Hence I won't clean my room so quickly out of EXTREME annoyance.

I always get the bad attention. Always the things that only annoy the offspring. The only thing I do whit dad is help him or get stuff whit him or get stuff for me. That's the only 3 things we actually do in our "free" time. He's retired now and since he's home it's only been ****. I don't really like him currently like this. I used to be crazy about him. up until this last december or so. The reason was, he was a truck driver, only home half the weekend. The vacations he had was mostly working at home or at a garden. Just being Mr. Handy. Sometimes I helped, sometimes not. The most I liked was when I went on trips whit him. We were like buddies, going to a nearby country like Germany, England, Belguim, France, Luxembourg(sp) and Sweden. Now the only thing we do is piss eachother off all the time. The point of the trip was, we did something I liked. Now we do stuff I don't like. All I need is the right attention, even if it's little of it, it's good enough.

I'll just include on how you can keep me happy or really piss me off:

• Don't break my confidence and feelings about myself and fix it when it's actually broken.
• Don't just say good stuff about me when I'm down. Just ****ing say how I honestly am by critisize my cons, reinforse my pro's. I'll be fine instead of puzzled and sad.
• The clearer and specific you say it, the better.
• When I'm mad, let me be. If there are things that need to be talked about, I'll come to you, go to someone for it or let someone know in a way.
• Sometimes I'm really making things the hard way, only so I know who cares about me to go through as much trouble as there is. Besides, I can't make it impossible, just hard.
• Sometimes I just act in riddles, the ones who would notice what's wrong would see through it and persuit the problems that burden me. Others don't. Trust me, even the ones who care most sometimes can't see it.
• When it comes to prove being my friend, either bad or good, the stakes are really high. And I'm at least trying that hard to be there for my friends. It's unwarned when that will happen. Even some of my bestest friends didn't pass, but regardless of that, I knew how much they cared, and if they knew or could actually do it, they likely would have.

This is pretty much what burdens me always. There is still one thing about me that probably no one get's to know. Lolli is probably the only one who 'might' get to know someday. Although I still doubt that will be a fact. There's even a slight chance Kuro will get to hear it. But so far as things are now, I'm likely to take it to my grave. I'm just sick of stuff in general. My parents are one of my biggest burdens now. If things keep going the wrong way, then I don't know what will happen, and surely it doesn't look good.

*sigh* I shared alot already. Probably best too kill you all now. But for the sake of the KNC, I won't.

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Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam, et lingua eius loquetur iudicium.
Beatus vir qui suffert temtationem.
Quanium c-um probatus feurit accipient coronam vitae.

Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison.

Oh quam sancta, quam serena, quam benigna, quam amoena.
Oh castitatis lilium.

i have some of those problems to but probaly not that bad

As do I. I'll just be leaving the room when my mum's boyfriend will suddenly turn to me and start asking me personal questions. He doesn't even know me for ****'s sake. Sometimes I just want to tell him to **** off, but I know from experience that that always makes things worse. He's always hanging around the house and complaining when I play music too loud, I get hardly any privacy these days.

 

This probably is not much help, but I did take off from home once... in fact, it was not that long ago (Probably around last April or so)...
I was sick of the way things were going for home, so I packed up important things (clothes, playstation, etc.) and took a hike. I decided to phone home around 11:00pm that evening, since I told them nothing about what had happened beforehand, and let's just say everyone snapped back into reality.

I came back home the next day and we sorted things out in a mature fashion, as things mostly had to do with school, me quitting my job at the pizza place and other things.

From my personal experience, you may not need to run away, but just get out of there for a little while and chill out until your parents get a grip on reality again.

My mother is an alcoholic and I haven't seen my dad in nearly four years...... I don't think theres any chance of that happening for me, Kuro.

my parents are both rather crazy. on one hand they care about me a lot and show this but on the other they often leave the impression that they think I'm a big slacker. Granted, I don't work all the time. But I am doing more for my study than most of my class! (my mom's reaction to that: "I don't care how others do! YOUR study isn't going too well either!" Even though it just was slightly off schedule...)

Since my dad always yells at us for doing something wrong but laughs his own mistakes of I no longer take their complaints serious.

Here's a nice example of how they "work".

Last summer we were remodeling the bathroom, I had to help (along with my brothers) with carrying the debris downstairs in barrels. Unfortunatly, I somehow lost my balance.... It was either me with barrel falling down the stair, or just the barrel. I chose the latter. It crashed into the window at the base of the stairs. Miraculously it didn't break, but it was scratched. My dad was furious, my mom had to hold him back. I took the smart way out and fled the house until things cooled down.

I wandered around a bit, climbed a tree and stuff while dealing with another feeling of failure.

Eventually I climbed down and walked home. Then I saw my mom on a bicycle... She was looking for me, afraid I might attempt suicide she told me.... Silly mom....

I hope you are kidding about the last part!?? Cause stuff like windows can be replaced, but not you!! Ah and about the class....I think you might be the one thats the most on schedule of the whole class...and also you can always follow the niveau 4 study. According to Ruud when your already a student here they make it very easy. So even some delay does not cause any problems..Yaah for rubber robo ruud!

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*fujin that would be to you, sir*
^_^ Rock on

I'm not kidding, my parents (or at least my mom) really thought I might go and kill myself over making them both angry.

Yeah, right. Like I'd ever kill myself over something as small as that...

 

and I know I can even afford some delay. (not that I want any...). My parents just like to push me into working hard and all...

I never really had to deal with parents.  I haven't seen my father since I was 8, and my mother fell ill around my 15th birthday, and died just after my 17th birthday.  I've pretty well been on my own since I was 15.  I had to keep myself going and motivated to work hard.  Of course I had a bro and sis that helped me out, but all of the responsibility and such that I take in life comes from my own self will.  Sure I was tempted many a time to just run away, or even kill myself, but I thought I could do better then that.  So far, so good.  Those of you that have loving, (if sometimes nagging), parents, take it from me: Don't take them for granted.  It may be tough, but not having parents at all is a real drag.

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Each day that comes is one day closer to Pedro's demise.

And no oompa-loompas.

I know, as annoying as my parents may be at times, they still love me and I love them back.

 

Hmm... I think I already knew about Lolli's parents... But I still can't help to be impressed.

I don't know how I'd do in such an event.....

It all comes down to self will.  I didn't think I'd be able to survive once my mother fell ill, but I decided that she would want me to be strong.  She was a very strong woman herself, and I strive every day to be more like her.  Once you get into the mindset that you can take on anything by yourself, then it becomes much easier to survive.  Just don't let it get to the point where you won't let anyone in...  I still have to fight to let people help me, even now when I'm sick.  You've gotta be able to see for yourself when you need a helping hand. 

I ramble too much...

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Each day that comes is one day closer to Pedro's demise.

And no oompa-loompas.

thats still no reason to run away if you cant face your problems then you really are weak!

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do not worry about getting into that tanning bed melonoma is just a scientific word for sexified