> I have never read the word 'demand' in this sequence. Nor 'requirement' or 'necessity'. I have seen 'asked' 'wants'
Yes, I'm reading "wants" as "demands" because of the context. If this was completely voluntary, and any guests who were uncomfortable could opt out, then Tedd would have said so. Since he does not, we can understand that transformation is a requirement, not an option.
I don't know if that's the Daniverse reason why Tedd is questioning his love for Grace, but I know it would be mine.
> traditional themes, costume parties, dance parties, outdoor parties
A better analogy would be something like requiring that all the guests hang glide. Maybe some would be enthusiastic and have fun. But to require those who are fearful or who distrust the equipment to join in would be wrong.
> No one else has memories from someone else's life.
That's just Nioist propaganda. Her memories are her own, albeit out of the ordinary.
> Ellen is legitimatly being handled as an emotionally unstable person.
Then Grace should either have the decency to tell her that this is why she's the exception, or else she should change her party plan so that they play a game in which Ellen can be included. That's what a polite hostess would do.