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Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

Last post 03-08-2008, 4:31 AM by VkmSpouge. 170 replies.
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  •  5/17/2006 11:27:26 AM 778128 in reply to 778027

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Well my group has definately had its share of amusing occurances, so I guess I'll chip in here too. Although I think I shall try to keep it PG-13, lest I be smote by ESPC.

    I was running a campaign of my own design, in which the characters (a helf-elf cleric[slept around alot], a human monk[zero sense of humor], a elven warmage[prissy ***], a human fighter[dual-wielding Large-sized warmaces], a young trumpet archon[sans trumpet, long story], a pixie ninja[the horror], a telekinet) became deeply involved in the hunt for an evil lich that was raising a massive army of undead, in order to conquer the Western Heartlands (FRCS). At one point, they found themselves underground, seeking an artifact that would assist them in their quest. They came to an open chamber, with a 15-foot wide chasm through the middle, with a tiny 2-foot wide strip of rock bridging the two sides. The warmage and the cleric were the first two across, and were subsequently attacked by rock critters of my own design. The fighter started to cross the bridge to help, the angel picked up the psion and flew across, and the monk decides to make a running leap across the chasm in heroic fashion. After rolling mere 12 on his jump check, and suddenly remembering the rules governing jumping, his monk fell 150 ft (in heroic fashion). By a sheer fluke of luck, he managed to survive. That and the pixie was able to get a potion to him right quick. The new slogan for the campaign became, "White monks can't jump."


    "Apparently getting your ass kicked is now part of a complete breakfast." - Roy Greenhilt, Order Of The Stick


    - An Answerer of questions, and Questioner of answers.
  •  5/17/2006 8:55:10 PM 778230 in reply to 778128

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Before saying anything, Morte sounds like the man.

    Now...I funny incident that  happened to my friend while he was trying to get to the town where the other party members were waiting. This consists of Ghaleon (half-elf bard who loves the ladies) and Alicia (human evangelist who happens to be deaf, very curious, and extremely dim-witted...)

    Ghaleon had single-handed saved a girl he met in the forest (Alicia) from some men. They were trying to find their way to the town of Nashkal. As they walk through the forest they eventually reach a fork. One path is covered with a dark sky, cold wind, and an eerie feeling. The other has a beautiful rainbow, green trees, and two cute bunnies playing together.

    Alicia: Hmmm....let's go through that path! *points to the dark path*

    Ghaleon: Umm...Alicia....I think it would be better if we took the other path instead.

    As Ghaleon starts to walk over to that path he sees one of the rabbits transform into monster, devour the other rabbit, and then turn back to normal and runs away.

    Ghaleon: O_O;

    Alicia: Cute bunny!


    "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice,
    then sit back and let the world wonder how
    you did it."
  •  5/17/2006 8:57:46 PM 778232 in reply to 778230

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    lol, that was the first funny part, this second one is just as funny.

    They went through the dark path but somehow eventually ended up on the other "too good to be true" path. They see a cow on the road. It's just standing there.

    Ghaleon: Okay...I'm gonna shoot it with my bow!!!

    Alicia: (she can read lips) Why are you going to shoot it? It hasn't done anything wrong.

    Ghaleon: Yeah but...you saw what that bunny did! This cow could do the same thing!

    By the time he said that Alicia was already petting the cow.

    Ghaleon: Alicia!!!

    Alicia: It's okay! *studies the cow* I think it wants you to milk her.

    Ghaleon: What!? I ain't touching that!!! Imagine what it might do to me!

    Cow: Mooo!!! *it really seems like it wants to be milked*

    Alicia: Come on Ghaleon, please!!!

    Ghaleon: Oh alright....for you Alicia... *Ghaleon starts to milk the cow against his own will....the cow starts to moo....then it moos some more....then the moos turn into moans.........moans that don't sound anything like a cow....milk comes out into his bottle and then Ghaleon looks up in fear. He sees a big muscular minotaur looking back down at him.

    Ghaleon: WHAT THE!?!?!?

    Minotaur: *gives a big sigh of relief* Thanks kid...

    The minotaur gallops away leaving Ghaleon holding a bottle of Minotaur milk.......traumatized.


    "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice,
    then sit back and let the world wonder how
    you did it."
  •  5/18/2006 4:59:52 PM 778391 in reply to 778232

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Err, poor Ghaleon! That's a gross story.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  5/18/2006 6:16:22 PM 778410 in reply to 778391

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Ewww! I would have loved to see the look on Ghaleon's face but still...Ewww! 

     

    Anyway,funny thing happened in my roleplaying group today.The game is one of my friend's design and this the trail run for it.It's basically about psychics with powers such as pyrokinesis,hydrokinesis,and such in the modern world.

     To continue,what happened was that our group is on the run from the cops (I blame the alchemist).We managed to get away from them but then run into an Apache helicopter and a tank.The hydorkinetic took down the helicopter while my character (an electrokinetic) tried to take control of the tank with her powers.Unfortunely,due to traitorous dice,she managed to take over the tank but all the data overwhelmed her.So she's on the ground spouting binary while the tank goes on a rampage.The tank finally stopped when the alchemist knocked my character out.The following conversation took place between him and his cat,who he has a mental link with.

    Cat:So,that was close.

    Alchemist:No kidding.

    Cat:Did you really have to knock the girl out?

    Alchemist:It was either that or get blown to hell by the freakin tank.

    Cat: But now you have to drag a dead weight out of a soldier-infested area not to mention Jamie (my character) is going to be pissed when she wakes up.

    Alchemist:...Yeah....didn't think that far ahead.

     

    I swear,the cat is the only one out of that pair that has any common sense.

     

     

     

     

     


    The penguins...They steal my sanity
  •  5/18/2006 7:02:41 PM 778418 in reply to 778410

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Hehe. My character Kenna's familiar, a cat named Ember, definately has more common sense than she does. Kenn is smart, very smart, but she tends to do the first thing that occurrs to her, without thinking it through.
    I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.
  •  5/19/2006 2:05:37 PM 778534 in reply to 778418

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Oh,I forgot something else.

     My character in the psychics campaign recently acquired a weird dog-chamelon hybrid that breathes fire.Apparently the alchemist friend she got the dog from loved experimenting with cross-breeds.Anyway,the dog is hyperactive as hell and well...twitchy.So guess what I named him?

     Twitch.

     I burst out laughing when I remembered the Twitch from the forums.


    The penguins...They steal my sanity
  •  6/12/2006 11:28:47 PM 780636 in reply to 778534

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Not a hilarious role-playing incident but it was very emotional.

    Cast:

    Derryth (my PC) - an elven druid/sorcerer/geomancer

    Fang (another PC) - Derryth's half-elven son, a CG ranger

    Lann (NPC) - Derryth's half-fomor, demonblooded daughter, an unholy soldier of the Spider Goddess

    The party had gone to the mystical isle of Avalaon and spent five days there. My PC, Derryth, an danaan elven geomancer, had left behind her four year old half-elven son and her infant half-fomor (and demonblooded) daughter in the care of their fathers. When we returned through the mists, we discovered five decades had passed on the mortal realm.

    The war between the goodly folk and the evil fomor had gone badly in our absence. Fifty years of war had driven the Danaan from Erin. Derryth's clan, led by her now adult demonic daughter Lann, were reviled as traitors. My PC's son Fang had followed his father's footsteps and sworn bloody revenge against all fomor particularly the demonic general who had slain his father (Lann).

    After a botched mission to rescue some prisoners, Derryth was taken captive by Lann, who intended to hand my geomancer over to the high priest of the Spider Queen (Lann's father). Fang and another PC charged in to slaughter fomori. He had an arrow of slaying with Lann's name on it (literally). During the battle, Fang shot Lann and killed his half-sister outright before being cut down by the guards.

    In the space of a day, Derryth lost her children, regained them as adults only to lose them again when they practically slew each other in front of her. She wasn't rescued and the surviving fomori handed her over to the high priest. He was going to sacrifice her until Derryth said "death would be a mercy". He found a better way to torment her instead.

    It was a great game but I was very upset at how it ended. Two PCs dead, one retired and the survivors with no idea of what happened.


    Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
    (Nothing is an unmixed blessing)
  •  6/13/2006 11:49:50 AM 780679 in reply to 780636

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Well, that's what happens when you take time out on a mysticasl isle. You come back and Bam! your kids are grown up and killing each other.

    A Good Deed is its own reward.
    That, and getting to go to heaven.
  •  6/14/2006 2:25:05 AM 780761 in reply to 780679

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Avalon was a realm of legend, forgotten even by the elves. We only found it by chance while searching for the missing Queen of Tara. Then we have to prevent my traitorous kinswoman from stealing the holy relics. The party slew the bad guys but it was a long slog to get at them. We left as soon as we could but only realised the tales of Avalon were true when we went home and found most of our human friends dead of old age.

    The fifty year gap was as good as a new life for the human and halfling PCs as they had been wanted criminals before we left. The fomor PC had joined us to get revenge on my kinswoman and it did not matter to her how long we had been away as she had no ties. For Derryth, she had her babies' childhoods stolen from her, her kin dead or traitors and her family's lands overrun by evil. She had a few scant hours with her son and minutes with her daughter to get to know them as adults before they too died.

    Derryth was shattered by her loss, and now she's in the hands of a NE dark elven priest. All in the space of a day for her.

    It was almost a relief to make a new character.


    Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
    (Nothing is an unmixed blessing)
  •  6/14/2006 3:54:16 PM 780809 in reply to 780761

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    I've just started my first ever campaign as a DM, I and I had to share this little bit of wit one of my players (he's been really helpful actually, screenname CloisteredCleric) came up with for his backstory. His character is a cleric of Lor-el, goddess of knowlege, and not so much an adventurer as a misshelved librarian. Basically, the head of his order tricked him into heading north with a vital message for an inkeeper in the starting town. The message reads thus:

    "Please give this letter to the man who delivered it...

    Meshek, I want you to get away for a while. Have an adventure. Learn something about the world. And may Lor-El protect you."


    I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.
  •  6/21/2006 4:16:24 PM 781385 in reply to 780809

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Hehehehe! Very funny Phoenix! That's a great way to get sent on an adventure.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  6/21/2006 9:48:01 PM 781407 in reply to 781385

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    I already have a hard time reading his posts without giggling- in a fit of ego, I named several of the gods after me and my friends, and Lor-El is a bastardization of my own name (Laurel).
    I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.
  •  6/26/2006 2:06:46 PM 781690 in reply to 781407

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    In a recent session our characters were all caught in a gas explosion that turned everyone who breathed  in the gas into children. It was quite funny having all our characters running around as 7 year olds (or the equvilant for Elves and Halflings). Our ranger having been brought up in near isolation clearly didn't consider wearing clothes all that important at that age, so the rest of the kids had to almost force some robes onto her. That plus the childish bickering was good fun.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  6/26/2006 8:35:31 PM 781720 in reply to 781690

    Re: Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

    Ooh... I may have to steal that one.
    I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.
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