I have to admit, matress tester does sound like a great job! You have reviewed a lot of movies, Tybs, well done 
Troy
Homer's Illiad is in our everyday lives, with phrases like, "Beware Greeks bearing gifts" and "a face which launched a 1000 ships" not to mention a part of our body named after Achilles it would be very hard for any director and script writers to do the story of Troy any justice. It is a story which has survived for thousands of years and this is just the latest re-telling of the tale.
I haven't read the Illiad (it's on my "To Read" list) so I don't know most of the details of Troy (other than Helen, Achilles' heel and the Horse). So for those who don't know the basic story...Paris, a Prince of Troy, falls in love with Helen the wife to the King of Sparta. Helen agrees to go with Paris back to Troy. However this upsets the King of Sparta, Meneloas who goes to his brother, Agamemnon, King of Mykenai for help to get Helen back. Agamemon who effectively rules Greece agrees and calls upon all the rulers of the city states of Greece to join with him to go to war with Troy. Achilles, the greatest warrior in Greece joins the army to go to war.
There is plenty of fighting, in the movie (as one would expect) the best performances come from Eric Bana. Bana (who plays Hector, Paris' brother) commands all the scenes he is in and has great on screen presence. Brad Pitt is somewhat wooden while playing Achilles (someone described him as being more wooden than the Horse), it certainly isn't Pitt on his best form and he is out shone by Bana. LotR fans will note two men from the Fellowship, Orlando Bloom (Paris) and Sean Bean (Odysseus). Bloom manages to pull off the younger brother role nicely, though I don't think he was at his best. Sean Bean (always a good addition to any movie in my opinion) puts in his usual solid performance. Diane Kurger (Helen) does well as the face who launched a 1000 ships but Helen is forced into a rather secondary position after the first 1hour of the movie.
Overal I liked the movie, the fight scenes are good, especially the showdown between Hector and Achilles. The directors did manage to pull off the Trojan Horse well and not make it seem too daft that the Trojans would pull a hollow, wooden horse with enough space inside for 30 men and adequate toilet room, inside their city. Sometimes the music score was a bit irritating and the dialogue wasn't all that brilliant but it's worth going to see. I do hope they would do a follow up to Troy, based on the Odyssey (following what happens to Odysseus after Troy) I reckon that would be pretty good.
Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!
