I dunno what poltergeisting is, but ok.

This is actually sort of in progress.

My rogue is on less than cordial terms with the local Church of Tyr. They let me out of prison with a full pardon for past indescretions, with the requirement that I hunt down this guy. They wanted him because he had information about a holy sword that had been weilded by some famous knight of old. So I catch the guy and bring him back, but being less than pleased with my lack of reward beyond the pardon, I got the information from him myself, retrieved the sword, and sold it to a less than reputable source for considerable profit. So they aren't pleased with me at all, and this is becoming increasingly inconvinient.

Then I got on the bad side of the theive's guild. They didn't like an independent operating in their territory, so they less than subtly suggested that I join up. Or else. I told them to go f*** themselves. I should have been more tactful, in retrospect, but I do NOT respond well to threats. So they've been trying to eliminate me, and my party thinks I've totally lost it, since I've suddenly become extremely paranoid.

I've come up with a plan that should get the Guild out of the picture and redeem myself with the Tyrants, 'scuse me, Tyrists. If it works, my character will have eliminated two powerful enemies, if it doesn't, she'll be dead within the week. And whether or not my plan works relies on the party paladin having the Sense Motive skill of carrot, and his ability to convince a bunch of other paladins that I've changed my ways.

Y'see, the only other local power that stands a chance against the Guild is the Church of Tyr, and they haven't been able to get enough on 'em to do much. I can rat out the Guild, but given my past relationship with the Church, I doubt they'll beleive me, so the party paladin will help me. Unwittingly, of course, but that's how he does everything. I'm going to dupe him into beleiving I've had a change of heart to get him to help me make my case to the Tyrants.

So I'm going to manipulate the party paladin into getting the church of Tyr (who doesn't like me) to help me bring down the Theive's Guild (who's trying to kill me), and do all this without letting the rest of the party know how much trouble I'm in, because then they'd turn me over to either the local authorities, or worse, the thieve's guild, for a reward.

I fully expect to have to roll up a new char by the end of the week.

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I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Poltergeisting - flinging small objects around for minor damage without physically touching them.  Ghosts are famous for haunting houses and moving stuff around, when they throw stuff they graduate to being called poltergeists.

I got the Terry Pratchett reference   Love those books about the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.  And yes, your character is in lots of trouble.

Ah, I see.

0.o

I made a Pratchett reference?

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I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Seeing this comic (http://www.blastwavecomic.com/comics/31.jpg) made me remember some adventures I had with a halfling thief I made named Cora who more or less acted like a Kender.

That comic, reminded me of one session where I snuck into an underground fort ahead of my group since I was the only small-sized PC.  With me was a elemental of some kind we called 'Rappapor' because that's all he said.

Basically I made my way into the fortress and up a watch tower.  I had a surprise round against the lone, sleepy guard.  I remember saying "I tap Rappapor on the shoulder, point at the guard and make a pushing motion"

We ran up and pushed the poor soul out of the tower and he landed with a thud in front of my group.  I think later in that adventure... or was it another, where I declared a "Called shot to the knee!" (I rolled a 20) and shot the son of our enemy right in the kneecap.  Ah the memories...

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EPSC: She's crazy, lazy and oh-so-lovable!


"The deific powers I emit will surely burn your retinas!!!"

EPSC's World of Art!
GHE Art Department

Pheonix - "The Sense Motive skill of Carrot".  Or did you mean "The Sense Motive skill of a carrot"?  Because one of the characters Terry Pratchett writes about is called Carrot, and he truely believes that everybody wants to be a good person.  Thing is, he believes it so strongly, and so openly, that most people can't bear to disappoint him.

It's meant to be "a carrot", but that works pretty well too... I've only read the first three Discworld books though.

ESPC: I swear, Cora is the single most common name for female halflings ever.

Ok, an update on my rogue,  Talkasha Entreri*'s Paladin-Vs.-Guild plot. The paladin made his pitch. Well enough that the Tyrants bought it. Well enough that I felt really bad about lying to him.  Well enough that my incorrigible rogue is now fighting a duel to defend the paladin's honor. He's injured and we don't have a party cleric, which is why we've been in town so long, healing, and so when an old enemy of his (his brother, who is an antipaladin- I swear, this campaign can be an exercise in cliches.) shows up and challenges him to a duel, his honor won't let him refuse, but he's in no condition to fight. So I'm fighting as his second. The irony is so thick you can taste it.

*I can explain, I swear. Me and the DM were talking shorty before the campaign started, and we were making fun of this total Mary Sue on the forums whose characters were always the long-lost sister/daughter/cousiin/former roomate of some other famous fictional character. And one of us said something to the effect of "Hey, you know what'd be really funny? If someone made a character who had the same last name as a famous character, but they weren't related at all, it was just a total coincidence!" So then she started her campaign, and I named my rogue Talkasha Entreri. No relation to Artemis whatsoever. It kinda amuses me that her character was born in a flash of blinding stupidity, and will probably die the same way.

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I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Let's see.  A rogue vs an Anti-paladin in a duel.  Unless you can do something sneaky or get really lucky, you're going to lose.  What were the conditions of the duel though?  Duel to the death, first blood?

Just found all the important 3.0 and 3.5 Edition books.  Someone was saying earlier about an online D&D group.  Any idea what the address is or where I need to go to check it out?

Phoenix Talion:

ESPC: I swear, Cora is the single most common name for female halflings ever.

Yeah, that was before I started getting original with my character names...  Even now I lean towards names that have hidden significance, like Tacey the mute Knight (Tacey means Silent) or the ever infamous Sarah Chylallia, princess of a defeated warlord's kingdom (Sarah means Princess).  Other names just sound cool or funny; Amylia Walkerson (Halfing Cleric of Justice, wife of Crutch Walkerson), Ylenia Orianne and ALBERTA! (I only type it that way because Alberta was a VERY loud and uncouth half-orc barbarian who was helmet-wearing stupid.  She referred to herself in third-person, loudly, and often assigned "description"-person/lady/man to her fellow adventurers.  She called the dwarf "Tiny Man")

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EPSC: She's crazy, lazy and oh-so-lovable!


"The deific powers I emit will surely burn your retinas!!!"

EPSC's World of Art!
GHE Art Department

Prustan:

Let's see.  A rogue vs an Anti-paladin in a duel.  Unless you can do something sneaky or get really lucky, you're going to lose.  What were the conditions of the duel though?  Duel to the death, first blood?

Just found all the important 3.0 and 3.5 Edition books.  Someone was saying earlier about an online D&D group.  Any idea what the address is or where I need to go to check it out?

To the death. As the challenged, I chose the terms of the duel, except for the "to the death" bit. I picked rapiers as the weapons, and specified that no armor is to be worn. I actually have an advantage over the paladin under these circumstances. At 5th level, I have 19 Dex to his 15 Str (I put almost all my points in dex, while he split his between str, con, and cha) and I have the weapon finesse feat. Factor in Weapon Focus (rapier) and I have a +8 to hit vs. his +7. And unarmed, my high dexterity gives me an advantage to AC that I doubt the antipaladin can match. I am going to try and win this honestly, for the pally's sake, but should thinks get tight, I have a dozen concealed daggers which I intend to poison, just in case. I'm kind of assuming the antipaladin is the same level as we are.

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I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Okay, that sounds reasonable.  You might survive then.

I remember reading some years ago about someone giving his PCs a small tour of modern times.  Some portal sucked them all into a time warp, and they turned up in a D&D tournament, so everyone just thought they were fans getting into the spirit of things, not actual heroes.  The party paladin got asked to join a fencing match, accepted, and then rolled a 20 - critical hit.  Got his opponent between the legs, dropping him in pain.  Apologised to his opponent, then asked if he wished to continue.  The match continued, and the paladin rolled another 20, catching his opponent between the legs again.  He apologised again, and asked again if his opponent wished to continue.  The match continued again, and again the paladin rolled 20, again catching his opponent between the legs, at which point his poor opponent conceded defeat and retreated to tend to his injury.

The DM running the game decided to make it that the PCs had to stand in the middle of the World Cup field, holding the World Cup, 5 minutes before the match started to get home.  During their travels in the city, they also befriended a 20th century woman who tagged along when they went back.  Kind of wish I was part of that group, sounded like lots of fun.

Evil Princess Sarah Chlyallia:

Phoenix Talion:

ESPC: I swear, Cora is the single most common name for female halflings ever.

Yeah, that was before I started getting original with my character names...  Even now I lean towards names that have hidden significance, like Tacey the mute Knight (Tacey means Silent) or the ever infamous Sarah Chylallia, princess of a defeated warlord's kingdom (Sarah means Princess).  Other names just sound cool or funny; Amylia Walkerson (Halfing Cleric of Justice, wife of Crutch Walkerson), Ylenia Orianne and ALBERTA! (I only type it that way because Alberta was a VERY loud and uncouth half-orc barbarian who was helmet-wearing stupid.  She referred to herself in third-person, loudly, and often assigned "description"-person/lady/man to her fellow adventurers.  She called the dwarf "Tiny Man")

I'm never sure about giving people names with hidden significance. It never happens in real life, (if it was I'd probably be a geologist) so why should that happen an RPG world.

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Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

I can't help it really... Plus somehow, even if you dont know the meaning of the names, they still suit the characters.  Now as far as Alberta is concerned.. She's one of 2 half-orcs I've played (the other being Belinda and she was smarter and not as loud).  Alberta came from watching my friend play RISK on Sega.  I commented that Alberta sounded a lot like an Amazon woman's name.  From there I imagined a large, brutish woman akin to the Amazons of the show Futurama.  I wish I could tell you stories of Alberta, but the GM dropped the game after one session.

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EPSC: She's crazy, lazy and oh-so-lovable!


"The deific powers I emit will surely burn your retinas!!!"

EPSC's World of Art!
GHE Art Department

Well maybe you'll get a chance to play Alberta in another game. Should be plenty of fun.

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Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

"VkmSpouge I'm never sure about giving people names with hidden significance. It never happens in real life, (if it was I'd probably be a geologist) so why should that happen an RPG world."

I'd say it happens a lot more than you realise.  People are always being named after someone who's done something memorable, in the hopes that they will do something great.  And many of the 'less-civilized' peoples were naming their children after rivers, plants, animals etc, and they would take on some aspect of their name.

From the above game I've been talking about:

DM: Phoenix, change the alignment on Talkasha's sheet to Chaotic Good.

Me (sarcastically): Noooo! Quick, I must swindle some innocents!

Paladin's player: Wait, you mean she wasn't good before?

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I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.