if you think your storys are funny, my first d&d charcter (a druid) died 3 times, 3!!! fist was against a few kobolds (i was just trying out d&d to see if it was any good), then i ran to a pit, failed mty DEX check, and plummented 20ft, knocking me unconcious, breaking the vial of acid i was going to pour down on the goblins below, got eaten away by the spilt acid and my corpse was attacked by the goblins. Third time i got eaten by a goul.

i only got to lv 4!

oh well dead druids cant be choosers, can they? anyway, death goes on... 

---

I'm actually kinda new to D&D, I'm only a lvl5 Paladin (or lvl6, depends if I prestige and become a lvl 1 pious templar instead), but plenty of funny things have happened. Here's one scenario...

Our party ends up fighting one of our own teammates, a bard who was possessed by spirit he tried to control. He became a giant tree and had some pretty bad attacks. Our party was getting beaten badly by his attacks...but during this crucial time I had to step out and take a phone call on my cell for a few minutes...I come back later and desperately try to figure out a plan. I grab a black potion we had found earlier that day. Our mage had identified the potion, but ironically enough, he did so when I wasn't in the room. So I yell...

Me: Aramel!!! What does this potion do!?!?

Aramel: It'll make you stronger!!!

And without hesitation I drink the potion...and then everyone in the room (including the shocked DM) starts going "OOOOOOH!!!!" That's enough to make me nervous....then Aramel tells me there's a side effect. I decided to worry about that later and help my friends. I gained big bonuses to str and hit, and I started turning the tide....but 2 turns later the side effect kicked in......

DM: Roll 3 fortitude saves over 15...you fail any of them, you die.

Me: O_O;

I figured with a plus 12 fortitude save I had a decent shot at surviving....................................................I failed. There goes the first death in our campaign...a cheesy death, lol. It ended well though since after we defeated him he gained a small amount of power from the gaia spirit and learned how to resurrect. ^_^

---

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice,
then sit back and let the world wonder how
you did it."

That was unfortunate, pity Aramel didn't tell you the side effect before you drank it. However at least you now know to always ask the crucial question, "What are its side effects?" before drinking any potion.
Welcome to the forum, Killago0mba. Have a penguin.

---

Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

Hiya, Killago0mba. My commiserations on your paladin.

---

Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
(Nothing is an unmixed blessing)

Thanks u two. My Paladin is fine now, or should I say Pious Templar? I decided to go down that route for a bit since Mettle is quite an attractive ability. ^_^ Still...after all my near death experiences I had to go down due to a potion....... >_<

---

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice,
then sit back and let the world wonder how
you did it."

When we were playing Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil, my fighter/rogue lasted quite a ways through vicious fighting, big things with teeth and no PC clerical support. He died because he failed a spot check and literally walked into a bad guy's axe. Bad guy got a crit, did massive damage, I didn't make the save and my fighter/rogue's head fell off. All because I turned a corner apparently with my eyes shut.

---

Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
(Nothing is an unmixed blessing)

Ouch, sorry to hear that. My friend's character also had an unfortunate death two sessions ago. He's the second death in our campaign, and the first real in-battle death. We were fighting two Ogres and some gunners hiding in the back. My friend's character, a bard named Ghaleon who couldn't wait to fight upfront with the big boys, was right infront of an ogre. He had dropped his gun earlier and has he went down to pick it up he took an AoO. My friend said he could take it.......big mistake. The ogre rolled a critical....and note....it was with a spatula. This ogre was one of the chefs in the stronghold (lol) and smacked Ghaleon with a spatula doing quite some damage. My friend failed the fortitude save and there goes his bard. After the battle we managed to bring him back with a rod of resurrection, but now we're out of reviving stuff..... We tease him though because he died by a spatula.

---

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice,
then sit back and let the world wonder how
you did it."

I got tons... but there's one I can think of right now.

My husband's character (Blake, human sorcerer) and I (Cora, halfing rogue) were seperated from our group and exploring a wierd dungeon.  We went through the dungeon and came across a room which looked like some barracks.  We dispatched the goblins inside except for one who had ducked into a foot locker (Rotating compartments).

In the next room was a vortex. We tossed a few of the goblin bodies in to see what would happen.  Nothing.  So we used the bedsheets from the bunkbeds to make a rope and we tied it around the waist of our captive. He refused (as most NPCs do) to go through the vortex.  Blake grabbed him and sang 'Break on through to the other side!' as he chucked the goblin into the vortex.

A moment later, we pulled our rope up to find nothing on the end.  So the GM asks us what we planned to do then.

Husband: I jump into the portal!
Me: I'm gonna use the bed-sheet ropes and lower myself into it.
GM: Blake, You're waist-deep in goblin sh**.
Husband: ...
Me: *grin* Good thing I used the rope!

---

EPSC: She's crazy, lazy and oh-so-lovable!


"The deific powers I emit will surely burn your retinas!!!"

EPSC's World of Art!
GHE Art Department

I haven't been roleplaying long, so my humorous expiriences are few, though when my brother made his first character there were some "I don't know whether to laugh or cry" moments. Case in point:

My brother gets a sword and armor. I finished creating mine the day before, and my inventory consisted of flint & tinder, torches, flasks of oil, a torch I didn't really need since I was an elf with infravision, numerous belt pouches in addition to my backpack, rations, a waterskin, a map case and anything else I could possibly need and afford. My dad looks at my character, looks at my brothers.
Dad: "Hey, shouldn't you buy some other stuff?"
Brother: *looks at his character sheet* "Oh yeah, I'll buy a bow and arrows."

D'Oh.

Ah, well, I'm willing to forgive him for that, and breaking my bed, since last session he managed to convice a group of not-very-intelligent goblins that I was a "dangerous weretiger" and I "could change at any second, you don't want to make her angry". This managed to buy my Da's NPC cleric (a Jehova's Witness) the time he needed to rescue us.

To really get why it worked you have to see my character, who's currently my avatar.

---

I swear, now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Something hilarious happened in our last game.

Morte, a very perverted kobold sorcerer with too high Cha (M)
Noch (me), human warlock/hexblade (M)
Ayleana, elven cleric of Sune (F, twin)
Iyleana, elven fighter (F, twin)
Sneakit Snikker, halfling rogue (M)

[snip]
We arrived to outscirts of a dwarven and human occupied settlement.
Ayleana: Since the dwarves have been wars with creatures like kobolds I suggest that we hide him.
Iyleana: Good idea, Noch can you hide Morte in your backbag? *flurry eyes*
Noch: .... Fine... (I just cant say no.)
Morte: *grumbles and crawls to my backbag*
We go in the city and a beautifull young girl walks near us.
Morte: *peeks from the backbag* Nice rack!
The girl hears Morte, turns around and slaps me across my face.
Noch: *starts to swear in elven*
Ayleana and Iylenan: *slaps Noch*
Morte: *notices a woman* Big boobies!
Noch: *barely dodges a flying frying pan and starts running towards the town gates*
Outside of the town.
Noch: *Digs Morte from his backbag and curses silence on him*
Ayleana, Iyleana and Sneakit arrive few hours later still laughing.
[snip]
A evil monk (F) threathens us.
Morte: Ohh cute cute lets get it on!
Monk: *fails will check* Oki
Morte and the monk go to nearby bush.
Rest: *stunned of what happened*
[snip]

What is the lesson of today? Kobolds get all the girls. (Well exept for Ayel and Iyel, hence they were sharing Noch ;P)

---

"Everything is run by women, hence making us men just playtoys and slaves. Dont even think of arquing with them since they can make your life a living hell. In the end there will be no need for us men since women can do it by themselves."
- Me, just before I got twacked with an aluminium pipe.

Some ‘interesting’ moments.

Our party was confronted by a group of bandits. We’d just finished quite a large quest and weren’t really in a good position to fight. I get as far as “I’m sure we could talk this out,” when the monk dives forward. She tumbles past the closed bandits, heading straight for the leader. She rolls a 20 to hit, a 20 to crit and then rolls max damage. The DM thinks for a bit and then asks her to roll another D20. She rolls another 20. So the DM says “your perfectly targeted blow strikes the bandit leader squarely between the legs. The poor man makes a noise normally reserved for small furry animals. The remaining bandits stare at you with shocked horror and then flee, as fast as their legs can carry them.”

One that I was personal responsible for was my clumsy rouge. I was sneaking through our enemy’s castle and had just about reached my goal. I only had to jump from only balcony to another and I was there. Well the rouge messed up the jump and fell from the balcony. Luckily, he had tethered himself to the original balcony so instead of falling to a splattery death he merely swang through a window. However, what followed would normally only be seen in slapstick comedies. Through a combination of poorly positioned furniture, unlucky pets, the castle designers love of staircases, my DM general twistedness and my sudden lack of ability to pass reflex tests lead to a situation where if there was something to be trip over, slipped up in, crashed into, bounced off or dived through my rouge did it in. The fall nearly killed him and it left him in the hands of the enemy (who I think was a vampire or overlord or something).

@ Nocharim, I like that Kobold, he sounds cool. He could be one of Castor's personal heroes.

@ Anothername, A 1/8000 chance of rolling three 20s in a row those were good dice.

---

Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

@Anothername

 The incident involving the rogue seems like something that would befall Castor.

---

The penguins...They steal my sanity

how about zeekio not many of those names

---

darkness is supreme.......and so is this taco i got from taco bell *munch... munch* damn this taco is good

@ Vkm good dice - you're not kidding.