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Hilarious Role-Playing Incidents

Last post 03-08-2008, 4:31 AM by VkmSpouge. 170 replies.
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  •  9/25/2006 3:29:21 PM 787478 in reply to 787463

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Its mostly traps and trickery but when the party does encounter a monster its nasty. Last game, we lost another character to a poisoned spiked pit trap.
    Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
    (Nothing is an unmixed blessing)
  •  9/25/2006 8:14:39 PM 787512 in reply to 787463

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    VkmSpouge:
    Scary stuff, I really wouldn't want to tackle the Tomb of Horrors, it sounds...horrible.

    whoa....i SO want to play that...Surprise [:O]

    yeah, i'm a little masochist...so sue me...Smile [:)]


    naruto
    Which Naruto Character Are You?
    Test by naruto - kun.com
  •  9/25/2006 8:54:14 PM 787516 in reply to 787512

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    My god, we're playing once a month, not regularly, but still... , for five years now, and I think we only lost 3 or 4 men in action. MAybe our DMs are just too nice..

    Well, back home in Austria I will already play my third character, although I don't know what happened to my last one..

  •  9/25/2006 9:39:53 PM 787517 in reply to 787516

    ***-digging midget

    Once, we explored a secret path into a fortress which was also used as canalization. Incidentally my Character, Nestor (sor5, ShadowAdept7) spotted something with a strong magical aura in a big pool of liquid ***. When our 'reputable' dwarfen slayer Kili noticed, he decided to jump in and get 'whatever it was' up from the bottom. Smart as our group is/was/used to be we tied a rope to his body, (so we would be able to pull his dead corpus out of the ***...) Well, we decided to drag him out if there came another pull-sign from his side of the rope. What we didd't know was that down there the midget was encountered by some kind of beast with tentacles. Although there was no sign cause Kili was struggling with the beast and had to focus on not to try breathing ***, we tried to get him out of the pool. Guess what, it didn't work. So, as a solution of last resort, Nestor sent an empowered lightning bolt down, .... ,ah , was a good smell! We were able to drag Kili out who promptly paid Nestor back by a great hug.

    Guess what, no that's not the end of the story. This mad runt decided that once he already smelt like rotten eggs, there was no reason not to go down again....really!!!

    When he did, again secured by a proficiently attached rope, he found some kind of a mirror, but fixed, could have been some kind of portal, because when hewent through it, he found himself in the sea, and in the next second a giant megalodon tried to have a runt-snack, but failed to get Kili (you must know that our DM is seldomly lucky with dices). Before the Megalodon could have another try, our group could pull our stupid dwarf out. Of course again Nestor's telekinesis-spell was the decisive factor.

    But you know, midgets and memory, it doesn't fit together. Only a few days later Kili refused to know that ´Nestor ever saved his life.

     

     

    *** indicates excrement, of courseWink [;)]

     

  •  9/26/2006 7:13:56 PM 787554 in reply to 787313

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Dexam:
    My choice of game: the classic adventure module (recently updated for D&D 3rd Ed.) "Tomb of Horrors". The novice D&D'ers among you are probably going "who the what now?" The veteran players among you that are familiar with this particular adventure are probably finding themselves reaching for a fresh character sheet and their favourite stat-rolling D6's out of sheer instinct. Basically, this module has a well-deserved reputation as one of the deadliest adventures ever published. And it has lived up to that reputation so far. The summary one and a half game sessions in: - Rooms explored: 5. - Deceased characters: 5 (a Total Party Kill from a single encounter).


    I love that module. I bought the 3rd Ed. as soon as it was out. I still fondly recall the gaming sessions I had in my younger years when I killed off the entire party in the Tomb of Horrors. I have some friend that heve never forgiven me for talking them into playing that module. It is a great module with just so many ways to expire in it. I break it out every couple of years just to read it again. Cool [H]

    H-here, b-bunny, bunny, bunny...


  •  10/15/2006 9:11:52 PM 788584 in reply to 787554

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Firstly let me offer my apologies (and condolences for your recent and impending bereavements) to anyone currently playing Tomb of Horrors, I hadn't read this thread when I posted to the Guess the Monster thread.

    Let me try and make it up to you.

    DM:  In front of you, filling the corridor, is an illusion of a Gelatinous Cube.
    Player:  Well I’ll ignore it then!

    The Thing of Many Decks (new name given to a captured pirate galleon)

    ‘Conversation’ about an as yet unidentified –1 cursed dagger

    Player: Throw my shiny new dagger at the goblin.
    Attack roll hits
    Next round
    DM: The dagger magically returns to your hand.
    Player:  When?
    DM:  Before you can get another weapon out.
    Player:  Cool, so I don’t need to carry all these throwing daggers anymore…


    And just on the subject of dice rolls the thing is no matter how rare they are eventually they'll happen, in my first lengthy campaign as a DM I ran a critical system for 1st Edn.

    Grunge (for 'twas he) by then a 5th level half-orc Fighter was the first to strike in a fight that was happening outside an inn (The Haefod Aef Orc) because some of the up-and-coming bloods from the local thieves guild had found out the party had been freelancing.

    Grunge: Attack roll = 20
    Me: Woah, corking hit - possible critical.
    Grunge: Critical roll 5th-6th lev Ftr. d6 = 6
    Me:  And a critical, roll d10
    (At this stage the result is 80% a trip, disarm or knockdown essentially)
    Grunge: d10 = 10
    Me:  Clap clap clap clap, this guy is in serious trouble.
    Grunge:  What now, we've not had a 10 before.
    Me:  Exciting isn't it?Big Smile  d6
    Grunge:  d6 = 1 Sad
    Me:  Big Smile Waaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!
    Grunge:  What?Hmm
    Me:  Big SmileYou just lifted this scumbag fully two feet into the air and pinned him to the wall with your longsword!  He's currently sliding slowly down the blade with a very surprised look on his face.  Critical Impale to the head, instant kill.Big Smile
    Grunge:  YES! Super Angry
    Me:  The others are scattering, one or two of them may have lost sphincter control, so what are the rest of you doing?Wink

    Only those numbers would do at that level:  1/20 x 1/6 x 1/10 x 1/6 = 1/7200

    I've yet to see another one in fact (so I won't, I'd change the system a bit) but even if I did there's nothing quite like the thrill of the first showing.

    That still only counts as one!
  •  10/16/2006 4:18:08 AM 788602 in reply to 788584

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    1/7200 is pretty good. Of course if you think just how many D&D games are played every week in the world it is a reasonably common occurance. Still that was some good dice rolling.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  10/16/2006 6:22:00 AM 788603 in reply to 788602

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Depending on combat ability the odds for that varied from 1/14400 to 1/1371.something.  It's sort of like the movies, you know loads of people have seen a given film but it's your experience of it that counts.  It's common enough that with extended play you're going to see some spectacular criticals from time to time but also rare enough that it is, on balance, more likely that you'll die from the general attrition of combat or through making a mistake somewhere so it doesn't unbalance the game.  Parties that have, and share, on board healing or can afford major curatives get a slight edge over the monsters but that's called civilisation, well, what passes for it in a quasi-medieval setting anyway.

    In 3.5 there's a fair amount of scope for making criticals more interesting by allowing one of a range of feats or combat options to result from the critical and you can maintain the interest/tension by applying the additional dice rolls.  You could even envisage a methodology where the Halfling CAN Knockdown the Ogre; it's unlikely but with a roll like that?  Just from sheer blind luck...

    Hmmmmm, I like that idea!  The additional damage stuff all the time is all very well but it gets a bit samey, for game balance the damage should probably continue to apply as well.

    Maybe fighter types (or BABx+) have some control over their crit rolls at the expense of some of the standard additional damage.

    That could work.

    That still only counts as one!
  •  10/20/2006 3:58:42 PM 788845 in reply to 788603

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    To have a Halfling knock over an Ogre the Ogre would have to be unbalanced and have a rock behind him to trip over.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  10/20/2006 5:34:51 PM 788850 in reply to 788845

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Since Halloween has been coming up,my friends and I have decided to get into the spirit by playing a zombie campaign.It's the very begining and as we have been startled out of our beds by the zombies we have no access to weapons.By now I have come to the conclusion that we are all going to die because the dice seem to hate us and favor the DM.Here is some proof.

     

    Kenny:*as the zombie tries to tackle him* I dodge out of the way. *rolls a one*

     

    DM: The zombie picks you up and throws you into a wall.It comes at your stunned form again.

     

    Kenny:*managing to recover* There's a chair next to me,right? I pick it up and throw it. *rolls a two*

     

    DM:The chair overbalances you and you nearly fall over.

     

    Kenny:Super Angry Dammit! Okay,I back away as the zombie gets near and pick up the lamp on the desk and throw it. *rolls a three*

     

    DM:You drop the lamp and it shatters into a million pieces.The zombie looks rather unimpressed.

     

    Kenny:*sob*

     

    I think a sacrafice to the Gods of Dice Rolls is in order...Anyone have a goat I can burrow?


    The penguins...They steal my sanity
  •  10/20/2006 8:19:51 PM 788854 in reply to 788845

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    VkmSpouge:
    To have a Halfling knock over an Ogre the Ogre would have to be unbalanced and have a rock behind him to trip over.

    Or be severely inconvenienced by, say, the recent Halfling perpetrated short sword slashing damage to it's right calf muscle.

    That still only counts as one!
  •  10/22/2006 8:11:12 AM 788883 in reply to 788850

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    @ Adarra, What on Earth did you do to displease the Gods of the Dice so much?

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  10/22/2006 6:21:01 PM 788898 in reply to 788883

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    I really have no idea,Vkm.I think they just like screwing with us,especially me.I tend to roll God rolls on the stupidest little things yet when I roll for damage after an attack or something equally vital I usually get a one.It's become a running joke that my character is the very unlucky one that gets hurt in hilariously stupid ways.I'm thinking of burning my worst offending d20 as an example to keep the others in line.


    The penguins...They steal my sanity
  •  10/23/2006 10:57:23 AM 788925 in reply to 788898

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Some dice are luckier than others. I like to use my navy blue d20 for important rolls. On my initiative rolls I always roll so badly, I rarely get double figures my my dice.

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  1/14/2007 3:40:45 AM 795287 in reply to 788925

    Re: Enter... The Tomb

    Not sure if it's hilarious, but it's memorable.  Back before I got hold of AD&D, me and two of my brothers played a bit of Shadowrun.  We had two characters each, to have a decent sized group, and since I was the GM, my characters were basically there to fight - and not to pass along any information.  My older brother had an elven street samurai and elven decker/mage, I had an orc physical adept and an elven mage, and my younger brother had a troll physical adept and an elven (or was it a gnome?) shaman.
    In one of our first missions I sent us off to assasinate a mafia boss.  The decker got the plans of the boss' place - a two story house made into a fairly basic compound with minimal security: several guards patrolling the inner wall, and a kennel full of paranormal guard dogs.  No guards or passive defenses on top of the wall though.  We all scaled the west wall.  The shaman took aim at the dog kennel with his souped up fireball spell - called Hellblast - setting it alight and toasted the dogs, and spent the rest of the fight unconcious.  The troll ran around the top of the wall until he saw an unlucky guard walking below him, and then jump on him - 250kg+, plus troll strength, plus magically boosted strength, plus fully powered Killing Hands = guard jelly - and return to the top of the wall.  The orc and the mage ran along the bottom of the wall, taking out whatever guards the troll somehow missed.  The decker ran to a place where the gap between house and wall was not so wide, then emptied out her Uzi clip on the top of the wall, poltergeisting the bullets at one of the windows.  This failed to break the glass, so she strapped the empty Uzi to her boot, and tried to jump kick through, which didn't work (reinforced glass).  Luckily the troll had finished his rounds, caught her as she fell and put her back on the wall.  Her second jump kick worked.
    While this was going on, the street samurai focused his energy (and cybernetically enhanced strength) at the locked door to the guards room, shattering it so completely with one kick that the poor guard inside was shredded.

    I'd have thought that a normal person, if the alarm is raised anyway, would shoot the window out rather then waste the time on a useless poltergeist spell.
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