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Movie Critic Corner

Last post 08-24-2007, 5:12 PM by VkmSpouge. 503 replies.
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  •  3/15/2006 6:38:25 PM 770199 in reply to 770187

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    wow, I thought after the first movie no one would see the second one. Guess I will have to check it out.

    H-here, b-bunny, bunny, bunny...


  •  3/15/2006 9:52:59 PM 770224 in reply to 770199

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Well, it's a continuation on Final Fantasy 7 which is without a doubt the most popular in the series. People will see it even without my endorsement.

  •  3/21/2006 9:35:15 AM 770998 in reply to 770224

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
    Okay my rented this movie believing it to be the 2003 version...d'oh! Still we watched this 70s flick anyway and boy we had a treat. There are initially 3 plots to the story. Lieutenant Ethan Bishop is assigned to the PRECINCT 13! (actually I swear they say on the radio that its Precinct 9 District 13) in LA. The police station there is closing down and he's there to see everyone is re-directed to another station. A bus of criminals being transferred to Death Row are forced to stop in the station when one of the inmates is taken seriously ill. And the third plot is a Dad and his daughter being taken to her mother's house. They stop on the way to make a phone call and the daughter gets an ice cream from an ice cream truck. At this point the film starts to crash.
    An LA gang (you can tell they're the baddies because they never say anything and have baddies' music playing whenever they're on screen) turn up and shoot the ice cream man and the little girl for no real reason other than to move the plot forward. The father enraged by this decides not to call the ambulance or the police to see if there's any chance of saving either of the two gun victims but grabs the ice cream man's gun (I reminded myself this was LA and therefore ice cream men always are armed) and chases after them. Sunsets and the father catches up to the gang who decides to flee with their automatic weapons...wait a moment I thought these guys are supposed to be heavily armed, bad asses? Instead all but one flees from a man armed with a revolver. The Father kills that gang member and runs to...PRECINCT 13! (or Precinct 9, District 13 if you believe the radio operator). The gang at this point give chase, 3 of them initially but probably more than 50 join in.
    As you can tell at this point things in the movie are looking good for a big shoot'em up and the movie doesn't disappoint. In seconds all the cops except Bishop are taken down. Bishop and the two remaining prisoners and the telephone operators arm themselves and prepare for the ASSUALT ON PRECINCT 13! Now at this point I think the Father must have shot the only guy with any brains in the gang as armed with automatic weapons they proceed to file one at a time through the windows where they're easily taken down by the defenders of the station. Hilarious stuff how they keep on piling through despite the mounds of dead bodies of their mates around the window.
    The initial ASSUALT ON PRECINCT 13! having failed the bad guys retire to decide their next attack. For the defenders things aren't looking good. Having failed to pick up any ammunition from the dozens of corpses littering the area they have inexpicably lost one of their number (a telephone operator was shot and we never saw it). Their escape attempt fails losing one of the Cons. So they're forced to make a last stand in the basement, thankfully the station also houses an explosive gas cansister which helps them. Finally the baddies make their mind up and charge (again) into the police station only to all be taken out in a huge explosion.
    This movie was pretty bad but provided us with enough unintentional laughs to keep us amused. The movie would have suited Mystery Science Theater 3000 perfectly. While the acting is decent and camera work fine what lets this film down is the script. The idea of a movie like this is fine but the script leaves holes the size of dinner plates in it and also has some quite cheesey dialogue. Hopefully we'll be watching the modern Assualt on Precinct 13 sometime in the future and I'll offer up a comparison.
    Movie Rating: 3/10

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  3/21/2006 2:27:04 PM 771023 in reply to 770998

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Wow, Im surprised.  By the sounds of it, this movie sounds like a laugher.  And usually the originals are the good movies (though 1970s cinema was touch and go).  I love the way you did the review, though, Vkm.  The sarcasm was brilliant, especially about the ice cream man carrying a gun.  Ha ha ha! Big Smile [:D]

    The modern Assault on Precinct 13 (probably not Precinct 9, District 13) got mixed reviews from some and never really captured my interest.  A good review in the future may change my mind...

    And the only thing wrong with this movie being done in Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is that this film really has nothing to do with science does it?  But I see what youre getting at.  Surely a movie that is this bad its funny, leads into a great premisis for MST3K.


    If at first you dont succeed, dont try skydiving
    Both diapers and politicians need to be changed--and usually for the same reasons
  •  3/21/2006 6:29:56 PM 771055 in reply to 771023

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Actually MST3K didn't just do Sci-fi movies. They covered the whole B-movie spectrum including crime, fantasy, horror and Shakespeare...actually most of the movies were a horror to watch Big Smile [:D]

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  5/17/2006 9:04:49 AM 778112 in reply to 771055

    Re: Movie Critic Corner


    Robots (PG) (2005)



    The general plot follows a young robot (voiced by Ewan McGregor) from birth (assembly) to his aspiring career as an inventor, where he wants to go to the big city to show off his inventions.  There is an inventors guild which runs the city and the guild is run by Bigweld, a really big robot (voiced by Mel Brooks), however he has since gone MIA and the company is now being run by an executive who wants to destroy all robots who cant afford robotic upgrades.

    The movie investigates what a world would be if there were no other signs of life aside from the robots themselves....sort of.  I think if it took this angle a bit more it would have been a little more interesting, but it would have been hard to get a big plot line going with villains and heroes, so I guess thats why they didnt fully do that.  Unfortunetly I feel this film had more weaknesses than strengths.   Its a computer animated film, made by the same people who made the wonderfully done Ice Age.   For Robots, they hired an all star cast top to bottom, no matter how big or small the role, they seemed to hire someone who is well known in the industry which can be good, but sometimes it can be very bad.  I felt there was lots of wasted talent here, but it was still adequate for the purposes of the film.

    The plot was a little unenthralling, I guess thats one way to put it.  I dont feel that I was really interested in what the plot had to say, what it did or how it would be resolved.  And thats a huge weakness if you really dont care what happens to the characters or what the film does.  And I really hated it when they started throwing in the plot line about the trash collector.  I mean its straying a bit far away from the original topic.  I guess it caters to those with ADD then.  It was all a bit simpleton.  And that can be said about a LOT of things about this film.  It was very simpleton. 

    The jokes were off target I felt, almost all the time.  I knew they were trying to be funny, but thats all they were...just trying.  Many jokes had so many layers of cheese on it, it would make Pizza Hut jealous.  Whats even worse is that several of them were referrences to current pop culture things, like Brittany Spears, you know.  Which is clearly targeting its audience, but a bit too specifically.  And if you really want to think about it, why would robots in the distant future be referrencing a 2000's pop idol?  Meh.

    But on the good side of this film, its very asthetically pleasing to look at.  The computer animations for this film were absolutely top notch.  I mean it is a computer animator's dream for 2005, it could become dated over time but its just so pretty and well drawn.  Its just a shame the film wasnt really enough of a vehicle to promote it.  I felt it had plenty of potential but couldnt fulfill it.

    4 out of 10

    ----------------

    The Incredibles
    (PG) (2004)



    As I said a while ago, I watched this film and thoroughly liked it.  Heres my review.

    Another chapter in Pixar's movie making experience, and I had yet to see one of their films I didnt like.  The plot follows a pair of ex superheroes who have gone into retirement...and parenthood, with the typical 2 young kids, son and daughter and the newborn, a son in this case.  However there is a dire need for superheroes as a new villain has arrived on the scene who could change superheroes forever

    Now I did the criminal thing of actually going into this film with a bias.  I felt I wouldnt like this film very much for various reasons, like for all the hype or the thought it could be a ripoff.  And when I left with such a positive outlook on the film, I think it really speaks volumes about it, because first they had to convince me not to hate the film, and then they had to convince me to like and then love the film.  Now Im not saying its the best thing since sliced bread, but it is pretty good. 

    The animation is typical Pixar.  They had struggled with the human form in all of their films, and I think they still struggle with it a little, but they made the characters cartoonized, they werent meant to look all that "real" persay, so it fits very well.  The scenery is fantastic...I mean the battle in the jungle absolutely blew me away.  The battle scenes in this film are fast and furious but arent so chaotic that the audience has a hard time following whats going on.

    In the end, just like Nemo, Pixar delivers a film that can appeal to almost any audience and brings forth a movie that becomes very hard to criticize or even critique.  Im sure you could have critiqued the plot if you cared to and there were a couple times where the film was very predicatable but those flaws are miniscule in comparison to the film as a whole.  See it, you'll probably have a good time

    10 out of 10


    If at first you dont succeed, dont try skydiving
    Both diapers and politicians need to be changed--and usually for the same reasons
  •  5/18/2006 9:07:30 AM 778280 in reply to 778112

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    re: The Incredibles: This is a movie on my "To See List" I haven't seen a bad review of the film and yours, Tybs was no exception.

    Assault on Precient 13
    Now I did a review of the original a couple of months back and thought it was pretty bad but enjoyable because it was so bad. Now this is the re-make starring, Ethan Hawke. It is interesting as I was constantly recalling what the original was like and comparing the two.
    First off the plot is slightly different. There's still cops and prisoners stuck inside a Precient station which is due to close the next day and they're under siege. However the guys doing the attacking are in fact policemen. They've all been taking back-handers from one of the prisoners inside Precient 13 and want to kill him before he can testify. The plot also has far fewer holes in than the original.
    The acting is...meh. Hawke and Lawerence Fishbourne are rather dull and a bit wooden and you don't get to see much of the bad guy either so there isn't much in the way of character development. Interesting to note that Fishbourne's character has the same name as the hero cop in the original except in the remake he's one of the inmates. The action scenes are better than the original too. In fact this is simply a better movie than the original, however it just felt less fun than the original did. By patching up the plotholes and making it look more slick they've made it more respectable but less fun.
    You'll watch this movie and then forget about it.
    5/10

    Scratchit: But he's a cripple!
    Blackadder: He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchit. Occasionally saying "Phew! My leg hurts!" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick!

  •  5/22/2006 1:18:40 AM 778748 in reply to 778280

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    I'm going to try and see X3 this weekend. I'm really skeptical (knowing all the crap that's been going on behind the scenes), but it's gotten some okay reviews from sources I trust, so it's possible a miracle happened and despite all the production woes it doesn't completely suck. Indifferent [:|]
    Dungeon Crawl Inc. - It's the most fun you can have without three midgets and a whip!
  •  7/18/2006 9:06:08 AM 783149 in reply to 778748

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Wow, I totally forgot to write my X3 review. Movie [~]  Oh well, better late than never.

    In brief; not the train-wreck I'd been fearing but still a poor a way to end the series (if this is indeed the end).  The main plot, featuring a "cure" for mutancy, is an intriguing one but it's bogged down by a lot of crappy ideas and poor characterization.  The whole Phoenix storyline is mishandled and both Magneto and surprisingly Xavier come off as di¢kheads, rather than sympathetic representatives of opposing causes. Also, a number of major characters are either killed off or depowered, which is a slap in the face to many fans. That being said, X3 is still a fairly entertaining movie with a few cool moments. The way in which Wolverine defeats a mutant who keeps regrowing severed arms is quite amusing, as is the Juggernaut's line "Don't you know who I am?  I'm the Juggernaut, bit¢h!" (a hilarious tribute to the YouTube video).  Overall, X3 is a bareable but disappointing finale to the X-Men movies.

    X-Men 3: The Last Stand gets a 5.5 on the Kayless-O-Meter.


    Dungeon Crawl Inc. - It's the most fun you can have without three midgets and a whip!
  •  7/18/2006 11:50:41 AM 783161 in reply to 783149

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    It sounds like they tried to mix in too many big plot points in the movie.  The Phoenix storyline alone could be handled well in a 2 hour film, and so could the cure for mutancy.  I believe there was something similar used in the comic books, though it was a virus that killed off only mutants rather than curing them.  I believe that claimed the life of one of my favorite villains--Pyro.

    And since the film is the proposed last of the series, of course they have to kill off or depower lots of mutants.  Its seen as theres no point to keep them alive if they arent needed since there wont be a 4th X-men at least there isnt a proposed/planned one.  Throughout comic book history, it seems like killing characters off is so much drama and a plot twister that it cant be avoided.  Sure a few killoffs keep it dramatic but the way its been handled in the comicbook world the last 5 years, its gotten rather...out of control. 

    If at first you dont succeed, dont try skydiving
    Both diapers and politicians need to be changed--and usually for the same reasons
  •  7/18/2006 9:04:16 PM 783495 in reply to 783161

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Dexam and I saw Over the Hedge and Pirates of the Caribbean recently. Over the Hedge was a hoot, despite the kids in the cinema, and we both really enjoyed it. Hamilton the Squirrel is my favourite character though all of them were well-rounded. The movie avoided being cutesy, which is a big plus in my oppinion as I like animated movies but can't stand saccharine (I cheered for the Evil Queen in Snow White).

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was also very good. Its fairly long but didn't feel like it. The story moved well throughout the flick. There was a little more visual comedy than in the first one though not so much that it seemed like slapstick. The actors all gave great performances. I heartily recommend it, arrr!


    Nihil est ab omni partum beatum.
    (Nothing is an unmixed blessing)
  •  7/19/2006 6:29:34 AM 783551 in reply to 783495

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    Morrigan:
    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was also very good. Its fairly long but didn't feel like it. The story moved well throughout the flick. There was a little more visual comedy than in the first one though not so much that it seemed like slapstick. The actors all gave great performances. I heartily recommend it, arrr!


    Yarrr!

    *dons pirate hat, goes plunderin' booty.* Devil [6]

    'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.' - Arthur C. Clarke.
    'Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.' - Gregory Benford.

  •  7/20/2006 2:59:08 PM 783845 in reply to 783551

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    I just saw Pirates of the...

    it was good indeed, though slightly more violent and way much more people dying than in the last one

    my parents didn't like it because "unlike the first one, this wasn't credible"
    I mean, you can buy it that a cursed, undead crew on the ship of the damned are looking for gold that's calling for them and a ship with sails full of holes is faster than any other, etc,
    but you can't belive in a ship that sails under water and a captain looking like a squid (ILLITHIDS ARE COMING!) that commands a big beast of the sea

    I sure as hell wonder what they expected after seeing the first one

    BORK!
  •  7/20/2006 3:17:56 PM 783847 in reply to 783845

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    I thought it was really good too, so did the rest of my family. Some bits were absolutely hilarious.Big Smile [:D] It was more violent, but with the kraken, everything is violent. I did a project on that once, even though the kraken isn't real.
    I really can't wait for the next one to come out!Time [O]

    I love it when I'm asked to play with fire.

    http://19Rhianna91.bebo.com
    Please visit me!
  •  7/20/2006 10:30:17 PM 783875 in reply to 783847

    Re: Movie Critic Corner

    I really liked Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Like the first movie, it's a fun swashbuckler that doesn't take itself too seriously.  There are a bunch of cool stunt sequences (my favorite being a three way duel between Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Norrington) and the CGI is the best I've seen since WETA brought Gollum to life. I was certain Davy Jones was created by prosthetic makeup until I learned otherwise. Surprise [:O] There are a bunch of callbacks to the first movie and most of the characters return, so it's worth watching Curse of the Black Pearl before going to see Dead Man's Chest.  The new characters introduced are great additions to the cast as well, my favorites being Tia Dalma the voodoo witch and Davy Jones himself, who is like Cthulu's smaller, piratically inclined Scottish cousin. Big Smile [:D]  Like the first Pirates movie it does run a little long, but I won't hold that against it, since the time flies by fairly fast (like with most good movies). This is the sort of film that, like Van Helsing, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the first Pirates flick, I'll pop into my DVD player on a rainy day when I need cheering up. Smile [:)]

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest gets a 9 on the Kayless-O-Meter.


    Dungeon Crawl Inc. - It's the most fun you can have without three midgets and a whip!
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